So this blog post will be off the beaten path just a bit. I was reflecting on something this morning during my time in the Word and prayer, and since I can’t get it off my mind in order to write a blog post I thought I would just share it.
Sometimes during my devotional time in the mornings, I will play some music and sing through a basic order of worship, if you will (a song to focus my heart on the glory of God, a song of repentance, song of assurance, etc). I will spend some time between each song praying through aspects of that part of prayer. This morning, I was on a song of assurance and singing Kari Jobe’s song Forever (click here) and was moved while singing through the song (thankful no one could hear me singing in that moment). There is a point in the song where she says “Now death, where is your sting? Our resurrected King has rendered you defeated”. It is always at this point in the song where my voice fails and tears take over. As I reflected on that this morning, I thought about that day when we will gather around the throne of grace and worship fully and freely, and maybe for the first time, I will be able to sing all the way through this song without tears. I thought of Revelation 21:3-4:
3 And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. 4 He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”
Right now, I weep because I feel, in ways, more painful that I can bear and more relieved than I can express, the weight of sin and the high cost of my redemption. I feel my shame, and in the same moment, my freedom from that shame, a sense of unworthiness and appreciation wrapped up in this life giving movement of the Spirit within my soul, testifying of what the Son has done on behalf of the Father in me. However, one day I will sing fully and freely without that weight. I sing right now, with a hope in the Gospel already accomplished, but not yet fully realized. So today, I sing with all I have in me with a longing for that day when I will sing completely unhindered and free!
As I reflect on that this morning, I can’t quite fathom what that will feel like. What will it feel like to worship, to live, to praise, to love, to serve, unhindered and completely free? So much of my life, our lives, are consumed with our story of pain, our present struggles, and our future still unsure and unrevealed. Our whole life is mingled with pain and hope, love and loss, joys and deep sorrows. They are marked by these experiences and to be free of them seems so hard to wrap my head around. However, as I read His Word and lay hold of His promises in it, I hope and wait for that great promise to become reality. I long for the day when the powerful freedom that I have experienced in this life in seed form will sprout to it’s fullest life when we see Him, as He is, and we are fully and finally joined to Him.